Spoof Wire Services/Toronto Health Services Press Release: 20October2023
Esteemed and highly loved Toronto journalist (but yet to be Pulitzer awarded) Robert K. Stephen was found tonight in his North York basement in a semi conscious state with a cheese coated spoon in his hand in Charlton Hestoneque fashion and half digested noodles spewed all over the place. Police reports indicated there were no traces of any illegal drugs on the spoon but an excessive amount of cheese powder. As constable Flimsy Gupta of the Toronto Food Police commented, “We have seen many Kraft Dinner overdoses lately. Users of KD are always tempted for an intense KD experience by adding no or very little milk to their KD. COSTCO Canada was offering Supersize Kraft Dinner suitable for a family but Mr. Stephen ate the whole supersized package by himself enough for a giraffe but he stuffed it down seemingly enthralled by binge watching of “Boardwalk Empire”. Two chopped up hotdogs were found in the KD.”
Mr. Stephen was transported to a local veterinarian hospital for treatment as no beds were available in any Toronto hospital.
Further details will be released when they are known!
Set the Bar 